Relationships Are the Key to Career Strength

What’s the most important thing to learn if you want to advance your career? How to foster, develop, and manage relationships effectively.

In today’s emerging right-brain economy, the hard skills taught in schools provide only the baseline of what is required in most professions. Professionals who have the edge — those singled out for high-potential programs — are also skilled at forging meaningful relationships.

The adage “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care” has never been more relevant.

While a good education is important, it’s no longer enough. Today’s leaders need to add the development of emotional competencies to their professional learning agenda.

Leadership Skills for the 21st Century

The ability to engage in meaningful dialogue, to interact with other people effectively, and to be emotionally savvy are, in fact, the leadership abilities that will be more and more highly valued in the future.

The good news is that these skills can be developed.

Smart and engaged leaders who pay attention to improving these human connection skills are the candidates most likely to be hired or promoted. Regardless of what sector you work in – for profit, nonprofit, government, or education, the ability to connect and communicate is an important leadership capacity of the future.

Several research studies now bear out the added value of emotional competence:

• In one study, researchers measured whether a master’s degree made a difference in the quality of a teacher’s classroom performance, as measured by children’s achievements. The results: Neither a teaching certificate nor advanced degree separated the best educators from the average teachers.

• In another study, Dr. Wendy Levinson, an international expert in the field of physician-patient relationships, examined why some doctors who made mistakes got sued and others didn’t. She found that patients filed lawsuits against doctors they didn’t like, while well-liked physicians were not sued.
• Numerous studies confirm that physicians who avoid lawsuits take a little more time to talk with their patients — about three minutes more — than physicians who do get sued. Further, the quality of doctor-patient interactions has a tremendous impact on potential litigation.
• When researchers reviewed surgeons’ conversations with patients solely on the basic of tone of voice, the doctors whose voices sounded more concerned and less dominant were less likely to be sued. Conversely, when surgeons’ voices were perceived as dominant, they were more likely to be sued.
• In the end, the outcome seems to depend on respect, which in its simplest form is communicated through tone of voice. And by adding a few minutes of conversation, doctors strengthen the value of their interactions — an outcome that professionals in all industries should strive to achieve.

Training Leaders for Future Complexities

Many professional development programs focus on the individual and self-improvement, or on managing teams and influencing groups of people. Thousands of managers receive training each year, with an emphasis on leading others. When you have these opportunities, make sure that an important component of your study, training, and coaching includes a focus on how to develop interpersonal relationships and dialogue skills.

The best managers in the world are not only experts in systems, processes and technical competencies; they’re also proficient at managing emotions – their own and others’.

“As a leader moves up in an organization, up to 90 percent of their success lies in emotional intelligence,” notes Daniel Goleman, author of Social Intelligence (2006).

In other words, nine out of ten executives who fail lack emotional competencies. A leader’s most valuable currency is relationships, emotional capital and the ability to connect with others.

The Boss Is Last

Sadly, most people’s experience with bosses falls short.

A Princeton University study explored how individuals felt about spending time with associates. Interactions with clients and customers topped the list, followed by interchanges with coworkers. Interactions with the boss came in last — rated, on average, as less enjoyable than cleaning the house.

The Gallup Organization conducted a famous study of workplace attitudes, asking 8 million people to respond to the following statement: “My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.”

The results show that people who agree with this statement:

1. Are more likely to stay with an organization
2. Have more engaged customers
3. Are more productive

Perhaps you’ve had a similar experience. When a boss treats you with respect and cares about your life, you feel more enthusiastic and committed to your work.

We spend 50 percent more time with our customers, coworkers and bosses than we do with our friends, significant others, children and other relatives combined. To be sure, finding a few strong office relationships will help anyone become more engaged and productive.

Combining Smarts with Heart

Human connectivity requires the right combination of IQ (intelligence) and EQ (emotional intelligence). Unless you can connect with colleagues and clients at a deep level, bringing both your professional expertise and emotional commitment to relationships, you will not advance in your career as quickly or as far as you desire.

IQ can help people get hired, but EQ is often referenced when people get promoted. Leaders who are rewarded with promotions demonstrate both smarts and heart.

To improve your leadership potential, start talking. Have meaningful, authentic, and real conversations. Develop your personal relationships with colleagues and customers. Show your expertise, but show you care even more. If necessary, work with a professional coach to develop and improve your conversational and interpersonal skills.

Should you gain diverse experience? Specialize? Go back to school for an advanced degree? Attend workshops? Get a coach? Yes, those can all be good ideas, but through all your skill building and experience gaining, make sure you are also developing those relationship muscles – authentic dialogue and understanding and caring about those around you.

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Yes! You may use this article by TheCoachingAssociation.com Executive Director Barbara Demarest in your company newsletter, blog or website as long as you add the following bio box:

Barbara Demarest (www.barbarademarest.com) received her MBA from the Babcock School of Management at Wake Forest University and her BA from Duke University. After 20 years at the Center for Creative Leadership, Barbara launched a strategy consulting practice focusing on people leading change in associations, foundations, universities, nonprofits and knowledge businesses.  You can find Barbara’s executive coaching profile on www.thecoachingassociation.com.