When Your Job is a Soul-sucking Hellhole

Coach Michele Woodward has a way with words.  Her recent post caught my eye and I asked for permission to reprint it.  The links within the post will take you to Michele’s blog, which you may enjoy reading if you are a coach or someone considering hiring a coach.  Michele has been writing about different ways to tackle being stuck.  I thought this post was particularly important because so many of us become gripped with fear – especially in times of economic uncertainty.  It’s almost as if we don’t think we have the right to notice that our job, employer, career, life, doesn’t fit anymore.  When so many people are out of work, we don’t feel right about critiquing our situations and finding them lacking.  I thought Michele’s questions are pertinent and helpful in dealing with the should-I-quit question.  And remember, your being miserable doesn’t help someone else who is unemployed find a job.  You can be grateful, but also know it is time for a change.  If anything, if you leave your job for something else, that job might just be the exact right fit for one of those job seekers.  I hope you enjoy Michele’s post.

Guest Author: Michele Woodward

When Your Job is a Soul-sucking Hellhole

In last week’s post, Love Your Work? (What Are You, Crazy?) we looked at how you can single-handedly turn around a difficult work situation. Yes, I said, “single-handedly.” And I meant it – when you first look to yourself and change (for the good) what you can – then, you can absolutely, positively, single-handedly turn around a difficult situation. I’ve seen it too many times to doubt that it’s a successful strategy.

And if you are doing the right thing, you are firmly in your integrity, and your work stays a soul-sucking hellhole, then – it’s time to quit.

I wrote about When To Quit a couple of years ago. Come to think of it, I really liked that post. In it, I suggested:

“It’s time to quit when the person you are becoming is someone you don’t like. When you’re in a job, and as a condition of employment you are expected to fudge facts, shift numbers and lie to customers, you become a person who fudges, shifts and lies. Is that who you want to be?”

And,

“It’s time to quit when you find that you love having the problem more than the problem loves you. If you find yourself talking about the problem all the time, stewing and fretting, worrying about it, analyzing it, turning the problem over and over in your head – is that who you want to be? Is that how you want to use your energy?”

Now, let’s just be honest right here. Some of us slip into a familiar and comfy place where we absolutely love using our energy stewing and fretting, worrying, analyzing. Why? Darlings, it’s an artful dodge. What are we dodging? Why, fear, of course. We’re dodging and dancing around the thing so many of us fear the most – fear of change.

We change-fearers expend all our energy mulling things over – which leaves us absolutely zero energy to do the thing we need to do most: change something. So, to snap out of the contemplative coma and get going, ask yourself these questions:

1. In the past, when I’ve made a change like the one I’m contemplating now – what’s been the outcome? Look back, write it down. What’s your change experience been like? How does that inform your actions right now? If you’ve been less than adept at change, what did you lack at the time? Can you shore that up this time?
2. What scares me most about making a change right now? I’m not kidding: Make a list. Then look at each item that scares you and say, “If that happens, then what?” Follow the trail right down to the thing that scares you most. Such as, “I will become the bag lady who lives in a shopping cart at Westmoreland Circle.” Then decide: is that really possible? This approach puts many fears right where they belong – out of your way.
3. If I make this scary change, how will I grow? (remember Finally Un-Stuck, where we talked about the power of always choosing growth?)
4. By staying where I am – do I like myself? Do I even want to like myself?

That last one’s a zinger, huh? But coming to terms with whether you’ll ever allow yourself to trulylike yourself – now there’s a thought worth pursuing.

So let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you have quieted your fears, you want to feel better and you want to be better. What do you do next?

You know me – I’ll tell you to focus on your strengths, your passions, your priorities and your values. I’ll tell you to network, network, network. I’ll tell you to read Finding A Job 2.0 about the new rules of finding a job.

I’ll tell you to take a deep breath and get yourself un-stuck. Because there’s so much more to life than that soul-sucking hellhole where you work.

So much more.

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Michele Woodward (www.lifeframeworks.com) is a Master Certified Coach, author, speaker and teacher, who helps people get clear about who they are and what they want to do – and develop a workable action plan to get where they want to go. She is the author of Lose Weight, Find Love, De-Clutter & Save Money: Essays on Happier Living, available at Amazon.com and is the founder of Career Invention Coach Training (www.careerinvention.com) – focused on training coaches to understand the new rules of work –  and Kick Ass Mentoring (www.kickassmentoring.com) – a marketing training program for coaches. She’s thrived in a number of high-level, high-pressure positions – at The White House, in corporate America – and has served as an advisor to entrepreneurs.  Michele is a sought-after speaker, leads a number of workshops and classes, teaches in Martha Beck’s well regarded coach training program, and writes a popular blog.