Click here to access Ronnie Grabon’s coaching profile.

Mary is a seasoned executive assistant. She’s able to see what needs doing and gets it done. She thinks on her feet, consistently makes good choices, and good decisions. She’s hard working and dedicated to her job; organized, good with details and sees how they connect to the big picture.

She’s professional in demeanor, personable in relationships, articulate and well read. She sounds great and her boss agrees.

“Hello, I’m Larry, Mary’s boss. Mary’s all that she’s described to be, and more. In fact, she’s so much more, I’m able to delegate everything that I don’t want to do. I don’t like to manage people or things, I like to lead. So, I leave the managing to Mary. What specifically? Performance reviews. It’s tedious and time consuming to write them and unpleasant to conduct them. So I have Mary do them for me. I sign them and she delivers them. I don’t like to meet with direct reports. They like to complain and I don’t want problems, I want solutions. So I ask Mary to listen to their complaints, fix what she can and let the rest go.

I want to do what I’m paid to do, and that’s to be the big picture guy. I’m great at it. I love it. Thank heavens that’s about the only thing that Mary’s not good at doing or I’d have a struggle on my hands.”

“I’m Mary. Larry nailed it. He has me do everything he doesn’t want to do (did he mention shopping for family gifts and canceling dinner engagements?), but I draw the line when it comes to critiquing his direct reports. He once asked me to fire someone for him. I flatly refused, Larry never did it and the person still works here.

Keep in mind, please, that I am his executive assistant, not his executive vice president. I do not have the title, authority, power, or paycheck to do the things he asks of me. His direct reports look at me as though I’m on some ego trip, giving orders like I’m in charge. I’m caught between a boss who relies on me to do his job and a staff that resents me for doing it.

“I’m Harry, one of Larry’s direct reports and I’d like to weigh in on this discussion. We don’t give Mary respect because we know she’s a stand in for Larry, who doesn’t have the courage to tell us, in person, what we need to know and what we need to hear. We admire his intelligence and his ability to sell our vision and our mission. He has great interpersonal skills when it comes to meeting, greeting, and securing financial support for our worthwhile endeavors. What he lacks is an ability to engage our support. He shuts us out and thinks shoving Mary in our faces makes up for his omissions. He’s wrong and its unfortunate that Mary’s paying the price.”

Mary does what her boss asks because; “I need this job until the market improves. Then I’ll have no choice but to leave and work elsewhere.”

Mary does have choices. Larry wants solutions, not problems. Mary creates a win-win if she can objectively describe the challenge, available options, and her recommendations for resolution. First, she gets Larry in the loop. He’s unaware of the consequences of his actions. Let him know that his subordinates feel shut out of the process; that her intervention makes the situation worse instead of better. If Larry prefers to delegate to her as before, she recommends that he include her on the management team, with the title, authority, and salary commensurate with the position. Whatever decisions Larry makes, Mary has responded proactively, assertively, and responsibly. She’ll know where she stands and can make better-informed career decisions going forward.

And Larry, if you’re reading this, you have time to turn situations like these around before the economy does the job for you. Change your paradigm and you can change negative outcomes to positive results.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Have you run into new leadership challenges due to globalization? Have you found that workers from different cultures require adding new perspectives and skills to your management toolbox? If so, Global leaders coaching-Coaching Across Culture, a paper written by Doudou Fall may be of interest to you.

This paper is about learning to understand and explore the different challenges and perspectives of coaching globally, as well as the strategy intended to face these challenges and be successful.

“Coaching Across Cultures” is also a summary of several articles, reading, extracts and literature searches by authors in management and strategy, as well as professionals with a specific knowledge of coaching within multiple cultures.

If you find that you are looking for some tips on adapting your leadership skills to be better prepared to deal with managing in situations with multiple cultures, then enjoy downloading “Coaching Across Cultures.”

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Cody Benoit is a rising Sophomore at Elon University. He is a Isabella Cannon Leadership Fellow, as well as a member of Sigma Phi Epsilon and the Balanced Man Program. He is the Director of the Incoming Leadership Fellows for the Class of 2014, along with being a member of Lead Team and an Orientation Leader at his university.  Cody is currently serving as a  summer 2010 intern for TheCoachingAssociation.com.

After 30+ years in the corporate world, I have left to start my own consulting business.  Leaving was something that I had considered for many years.  And for the last ten years, I had worked 80% time in the corporate world so that I could devote 20% of my time to consulting.  But I hesitated.  Corporate life felt safe.  Then came 2008, quickly followed by 2009 and a corporate bankruptcy.  Suddenly, independence felt like the only option.

So what have I learned that I can pass on to you, my readers?  First and foremost, career management is as much about life management as anything else.  What are you doing besides your job that may someday become your main focus?  Do you use your free time to watch TV, play golf, lounge by the pool?  Or are you using your free time to prepare for the next stage of your life?

Second, take advantage of the crisis – as Tom Friedman and others have said – never let a good crisis go to waste.  If you have been aiming in a direction, use the crisis to propel you further along your path.  The clue here is aiming – if you have just been wandering, the crisis is likely to catapult you in the wrong direction.  Where are you aiming right now?

Lastly, safety is not always safe.  What appears to be stable is not always so.  Working independently does mean my earning potential is up to me, it also means that not all my eggs are in one basket.  So it is less likely that everything can disappear at once.  A little like diversifying in the stock market.  Do you have a diversification plan?

Tomorrow, I head out on vacation for two weeks – one week at the beach and a one week road trip.  A single mom in a fun, small car, with a 16 year old son and 23 year old daughter – this will be interesting.

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Yes! You may use this article by HR Consultant & Executive Coach, Ronnie Grabon, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Ronnie Grabon, SPHR, received her BA and MBA from Rutgers University. She is an Executive Coach and HR Consultant for companies and individuals undergoing transition.  After 30 years in corporate work, she recently completed her own transition by serving as VP of HR for a company undergoing bankruptcy and liquidation.  Over the last ten years. Ronnie has coached more than 500 people at the Center for Creative Leadership, as well as consulting with individuals, businesses and non-profits.  Ronnie can be reached at rgrabon@triad.rr.com or by phone at 336-706-1621.  Ronnie’s coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.

Cody is a Leadership minor and a member of the prestigious Isabella Cannon Leadership Fellows program. He will be working on various projects, ranging from personal interviews with the coaches to research for an upcoming book.

When asked how he was enjoying himself so far, he smiled and said, “I’ve had a wonderful time thus far and cannot wait to see what each new day brings. With each project, I’m learning about new leadership skills, current coaching debates, and hot-off-the-press techniques that the professionals are using. This is a great opportunity for me to immerse myself within a leadership world.”

We look forward to seeing what Mr. Benoit accomplishes, and we thank him for all of his hard work on behalf of The Coaching Association.

The Coaching Association is a network of executive and business coaches with extensive experience in leadership development, business and organizational consulting and career transition counseling.  If you are interested in the internship program at The Coaching Association, contact Executive Director, Barbara Demarest at info@TheCoachingAssociation.com or 336-303-1577.

Ronnie is also an Executive Coach at The Center for Creative Leadership. In her prior life, Ronnie spent many years as a Human Resource executive, most recently completing ten years as the VP of HR for a mid-size jewelry retailer that completed a bankruptcy and liquidation in 2010.

Ronnie’s private coaching practice focuses on companies and individuals undergoing transition.

In today’s emerging right-brain economy, the hard skills taught in schools provide only the baseline of what is required in most professions. Professionals who have the edge — those singled out for high-potential programs — are also skilled at forging meaningful relationships.

The adage “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care” has never been more relevant.

While a good education is important, it’s no longer enough. Today’s leaders need to add the development of emotional competencies to their professional learning agenda.

Leadership Skills for the 21st Century

The ability to engage in meaningful dialogue, to interact with other people effectively, and to be emotionally savvy are, in fact, the leadership abilities that will be more and more highly valued in the future.

The good news is that these skills can be developed.

Smart and engaged leaders who pay attention to improving these human connection skills are the candidates most likely to be hired or promoted. Regardless of what sector you work in – for profit, nonprofit, government, or education, the ability to connect and communicate is an important leadership capacity of the future.

Several research studies now bear out the added value of emotional competence:

• In one study, researchers measured whether a master’s degree made a difference in the quality of a teacher’s classroom performance, as measured by children’s achievements. The results: Neither a teaching certificate nor advanced degree separated the best educators from the average teachers.

• In another study, Dr. Wendy Levinson, an international expert in the field of physician-patient relationships, examined why some doctors who made mistakes got sued and others didn’t. She found that patients filed lawsuits against doctors they didn’t like, while well-liked physicians were not sued.
• Numerous studies confirm that physicians who avoid lawsuits take a little more time to talk with their patients — about three minutes more — than physicians who do get sued. Further, the quality of doctor-patient interactions has a tremendous impact on potential litigation.
• When researchers reviewed surgeons’ conversations with patients solely on the basic of tone of voice, the doctors whose voices sounded more concerned and less dominant were less likely to be sued. Conversely, when surgeons’ voices were perceived as dominant, they were more likely to be sued.
• In the end, the outcome seems to depend on respect, which in its simplest form is communicated through tone of voice. And by adding a few minutes of conversation, doctors strengthen the value of their interactions — an outcome that professionals in all industries should strive to achieve.

Training Leaders for Future Complexities

Many professional development programs focus on the individual and self-improvement, or on managing teams and influencing groups of people. Thousands of managers receive training each year, with an emphasis on leading others. When you have these opportunities, make sure that an important component of your study, training, and coaching includes a focus on how to develop interpersonal relationships and dialogue skills.

The best managers in the world are not only experts in systems, processes and technical competencies; they’re also proficient at managing emotions – their own and others’.

“As a leader moves up in an organization, up to 90 percent of their success lies in emotional intelligence,” notes Daniel Goleman, author of Social Intelligence (2006).

In other words, nine out of ten executives who fail lack emotional competencies. A leader’s most valuable currency is relationships, emotional capital and the ability to connect with others.

The Boss Is Last

Sadly, most people’s experience with bosses falls short.

A Princeton University study explored how individuals felt about spending time with associates. Interactions with clients and customers topped the list, followed by interchanges with coworkers. Interactions with the boss came in last — rated, on average, as less enjoyable than cleaning the house.

The Gallup Organization conducted a famous study of workplace attitudes, asking 8 million people to respond to the following statement: “My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.”

The results show that people who agree with this statement:

1. Are more likely to stay with an organization
2. Have more engaged customers
3. Are more productive

Perhaps you’ve had a similar experience. When a boss treats you with respect and cares about your life, you feel more enthusiastic and committed to your work.

We spend 50 percent more time with our customers, coworkers and bosses than we do with our friends, significant others, children and other relatives combined. To be sure, finding a few strong office relationships will help anyone become more engaged and productive.

Combining Smarts with Heart

Human connectivity requires the right combination of IQ (intelligence) and EQ (emotional intelligence). Unless you can connect with colleagues and clients at a deep level, bringing both your professional expertise and emotional commitment to relationships, you will not advance in your career as quickly or as far as you desire.

IQ can help people get hired, but EQ is often referenced when people get promoted. Leaders who are rewarded with promotions demonstrate both smarts and heart.

To improve your leadership potential, start talking. Have meaningful, authentic, and real conversations. Develop your personal relationships with colleagues and customers. Show your expertise, but show you care even more. If necessary, work with a professional coach to develop and improve your conversational and interpersonal skills.

Should you gain diverse experience? Specialize? Go back to school for an advanced degree? Attend workshops? Get a coach? Yes, those can all be good ideas, but through all your skill building and experience gaining, make sure you are also developing those relationship muscles – authentic dialogue and understanding and caring about those around you.

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Yes! You may use this article by TheCoachingAssociation.com Executive Director Barbara Demarest in your company newsletter, blog or website as long as you add the following bio box:

Barbara Demarest (www.barbarademarest.com) received her MBA from the Babcock School of Management at Wake Forest University and her BA from Duke University. After 20 years at the Center for Creative Leadership, Barbara launched a strategy consulting practice focusing on people leading change in associations, foundations, universities, nonprofits and knowledge businesses.  You can find Barbara’s executive coaching profile on www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Ball #1: Jabulani

A bunch of the world’s soccer goalkeepers are having fits about the new Adidas Jabulani ball. As the World Cup approaches, the goalies are near-unanimous in their complaints: Too light, too curvy, too sleek, too slippery, too unpredictable.

Here are some quotes about the Jabulani from the goalkeepers of several teams playing in the Cup this summer:

Hugo Lloris of France: “A disaster.”

Iker Casillas of Spain: “Like a beach ball.”

Gianluigi Buffon of Italy: “Shameful.”

David James of England: “Dreadful.”

Fernando Muslera of Uruguay: “The worst I’ve ever played with.”

Ball #2: The Worst Call in Baseball History

And on Wednesday, the Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga was one out away from a perfect game (only 20 of these games have been pitched in the history of Major League Baseball) when first base umpire Jim Joyce completely blew it and incorrectly called a runner safe with two outs in the ninth.

Galarraga’s response at being cheated out of a history-making achievement? “[Joyce] probably felt more bad than me. Nobody’s perfect.”

Wow.

While the goalkeepers are already making excuses for the goals they haven’t yet allowed, Galarraga responded with more grace and integrity than I can imagine.

Arguing with Reality

Here’s my confession: While I would love to say I would have reacted like Galarraga, I act like a whiny goalkeeper much more often.

It’s so easy, after all, to blame the world for what it’s withholding from me.

Even when it’s a patent absurdity, such as a soccer ball that will challenge all teams equally.

But as Mick Jagger and Buddha so wisely remind us, You can’t always get what you want.

And as one of my teachers, Byron Katie puts it, “arguing with reality” is a sure cause of misery.

After all, the Jabulani ball is equally bad for everyone. Kind of like the other excuses I like to trot out when the world doesn’t deliver exactly what I want: the market, the economy, the labor market, the demands on my time.

Unless I pay attention, I can become a veritable font of excuses that can keep me victimized, aggrieved, and helpless.

Accepting Reality

Contrast that attitude with Galarraga’s, whose near-instant acceptance of the irreversible bad call has made him synonymous with hugeness of spirit.

He showed us all how to make friends with reality.

And by “reality” I don’t mean anything more than what is actually going on right now. As opposed to the constant comparison with the story of how things should go.

Suppose Galarraga had done the “normal” thing and yelled and protested and complained and told the world he had been robbed.

Would that have changed anything?

Clearly not, as it didn’t work when the Tigers’ manager.

Here’s what it would have changed: Galarraga’s experience of the event. As it unfolded, he ended the game with a big smile, a huge ovation, and what looks suspiciously to me like inner peace. A tantrum would have erased all that good stuff.

Plus, as my friend Brian pointed out, his story has become a resonant social fable far beyond baseball. Millions of people with no interest in baseball admire and will remember him.

How many of you can name the men who pitched the first two perfect games this season? If you’re not a baseball fan, I bet you can’t. (FYI: I can’t. Despite being a baseball nerd in my teens, I quit cold turkey after the 1978 season, reasoning that for a Yankee fan, life could simply not get any better.)

The Power of the Invisible Sun

Just to add a bit of irony to the goalkeepers’ moaning, the World Cup is being played for the first time in South Africa, a land with great energy and great challenges. I spent two months in South Africa this past year, and I’ve seen enough of childhood poverty to last me a lifetime.

While the high-tech Jabulani balls are slipping through fingers in goalkeepers’ recurring nightmares, many South African kids dream of owning a soccer ball that consists of something more rugged and aerodynamic than rubbish and garbage bags held together with string.

Photographer and philanthropist Bobby Sager, who took the above photo, teamed up with former Police frontman Sting and inventor Tim Jahnigen to create an indestructible soccer ball.

Instead of a bladder that can be punctured, the new ball can be stabbed with a knife, run over with a car, and rolled over broken glass without any problem.

The bright yellow balls, inscribed with the words “Hope is a Game Changer,” are being handed out by the thousands all over the world.

Why? Sting answers, “This is instant joy. Kids need fun, too. Imagine living in a refugee camp. I mean, what is there to look forward to? Very little. This is concrete. Very, very substantial.”

(To support this effort, go to The Power of the Invisible Sun.)

My fantasy is that one day a child who grew up in a South African informal settlement will grow up to be goalkeeper for the South African national team. I bet you he – or she – will be very happy with whatever ball is used.

And that, like Armando Galarraga, he or she will realize that the greatest victory is not the final score, but the way we conduct ourselves no matter what life throws at us.

So from my own humble place of learning, my gratitude goes out to my teachers: Armando, Bobby, Sting, Tim, and Byron.

May I be inspired to accept reality with grace and confront it with courage.

And so may we all.

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Howie Jacobson, PhD (www.askhowie.com), is a business coach and trainer, skilled in turning learning into action for his clients.  Howie coaches entrepreneurs who want to succeed because of their gifts and quirks, rather than in spite of them.  Howie’s undergraduate degree is from Princeton and his master’s and PhD are from Temple University.  Howie is the author of Google Adwords for Dummies; is a regular columnist for the performance improvement site for financial advisors, HorsesMouth.com; a frequent contributor to the entrepreneur’s resource, RoundOne.com; and author of the Training Magazine article, “Yes You Can Measure the Business Results of Training.” In addition, Howie combines his marketing expertise with his background in and passion for health and fitness at FitFam.com, a resource for parents struggling to raise fit and healthy kids in a crazy-busy world.

]]> http://www.thecoachingassociation.com/a-tale-of-two-balls/feed/ 0 http://www.thecoachingassociation.com/coaching/ http://www.thecoachingassociation.com/coaching/#comments Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:12:40 +0000 Melodie Howard http://www.thecoachingassociation.com/?p=626 Coaching is really about moving valuable people from where they are to where they want to be.

It’s simple and powerful.

Even individuals at the top of their game can benefit from individual coaching to improve their performance. Athletes have known this as far back as ancient Greece in the original Olympic games in using trainers and coaches.

Having a performance coach allows you to work on real problems in real time. A coach provides a confidential resource with whom to talk and work through challenges you face or goals you wish to achieve. Coaching allows a highly personalized approach to development that is tailored to your needs.

Using a coach provides a safe environment in which you can explore and develop new skills and behaviors and gain new insights that can benefit your effectiveness overall. We use a specific coaching process following Columbia University’s coaching program to address the needs of our clients.

The Coaching Process

Context: Each manager has his own unique context. We start with understanding the challenges and environment you face every day.

Content: While there are many different areas that could be addressed, we seek to help you focus on those areas that will truly make a difference in your effectiveness and are top priority to improve.

Conduct: With learning new skills, comes learning new behaviors. Your conduct has to change. This is not about changing who we are, but what we do. We focus on a specific development plan to move forward and on learning and practicing those behaviors that support your effectiveness.

© The Columbia Coaching Certification Program. All rights reserved (2007).

Executive and Organizational Coaching is a four-way partnership including:

• the person receiving coaching (the client)
• the coach
• the client’s manager
• and often Human Resources (or the Sponsor).

All roles are clearly defined before the coaching process begins. This ensures communication is clear, responsibilities are explicit, confidentiality is upheld and expectations are shared.

Examples of coaching engagements:

• New Manager struggling with knowing how or what to delegate
• Manager is thinking of making a transition in her career but wants to take a pulse check for how it is going now.
• Manager is doing well in current role, but senses there is something more she could be doing
• Manager has been promoted and is having trouble thinking more strategically
• Manager has received some feedback that indicates his interpersonal skills might need a little polishing.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Melodie Howard’s firm, In Perspective Consulting, focuses on designing and executing sustainable systems for development. Her particular specialties are: succession planning, corporate values, performance management systems, senior leadership competency development, executive coaching, 360o feedback and talent management. Melodie’s previous experience includes serving as the Group Director of Organizational Development for leading international re-insurance company, Partner Reinsurance, Ltd., based in Hamilton, Bermuda. She continues to work with them on a retained consultancy basis. Prior to her role at PartnerRe, Melodie spent 16 years at the Center for Creative Leadership in both operational and profit and loss responsibility roles. Melodie received her Master’s of Science in Organization Development from Pepperdine University in August of 2000 and a B.S. in Psychology from Guilford College in 1980. You can find Melodie’s profile on TheCoachingAssociation.com.

During the crossing he occasionally sat on the wire, stood on one foot and actually lay down to take a nap. He even jumped in the air.

As he drew closer to the Canada side of the Falls, the huge crowd of spectators began to cheer loudly. When he finally stood on the platform, which supported the cable, the crowd yelled even louder, saying that he was the greatest. He put down his pole and raised his hands to quiet the audience. When he had their attention he asked…

“Do you think I can make it back across to the U.S.?”

They all screamed “Yes, we have FAITH in YOU!”

He then asked, “Do you think I can make it back without my pole?”

The crowd, quiet for a brief moment, yelled in unison, “Yes! We have faith in you. You are wonderful!”

Then he asked them, “Do you think I can make it back across the Falls pushing a wheelbarrow?”

The crowd paused for a moment, then yelled back, “YES WE DO “

The artist looked down at the crowd and spotted a man who was cheering the loudest and asked him, “Sir, do you think I can make it back across pushing a wheelbarrow?”

The man looked up without hesitation and answered, “Yes, I have FAITH IN YOU!”

“Okay,” said the artist. “Get in the wheelbarrow.”

There is a wide gap between faith and trust. Just as it would have been foolish for the man to get in the wheelbarrow, it is very often foolish for leaders to blindly trust everyone in their organization, no matter how well they perform. This does not mean that you don’t have faith in their ability, and in their desire to do the job. But before trust is earned, people must be willing to accept responsibility for the performance of their roles, receive constant training, meet all of the expectations of their teams and supervisors and be held accountable for their performance.

So, as a leader, have faith in those you lead, but hold them accountable. Only then can you get in the wheelbarrow.

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Geoff Grenert (Leadership Solutions LLC), the son of a two-sport professional athlete and Hall of Fame basketball coach, brought the lessons of teamwork and coaching into both his own athletic career and his business life. An entrepreneur, Geoff founded two package delivery companies and an investment partnership, and heco-founded a leadership and team development consulting firm and a not-for-profit community service group. Geoff’s executive coaching, leadership and team development work includes individual coaching through programs at Duke University Fuqua School of Business and the Center for Creative Leadership. The team development exercises and assessment instruments he co-designed are used throughout the U.S. and Europe. Geoff’s coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.