Questions to Ask in Choosing an Effective Mentor

Business writers and management advisers are increasingly reinforcing the notion of mentoring. That may explain the recent proliferation of questions I’m getting on the subject.

What is a mentor? The easy response is that a mentor provides you with career advice. The mentor who makes a difference learns your shortcomings as well as your strengths and advises you accordingly.

Good mentors provide career counsel as it relates to you, without substituting their autobiography for yours. Their perspective comes from the honesty of learning from experience and the wisdom of learning its lessons.

Good mentors are like good bosses; they show you respect and are respected for their principled approach to work. They push themselves to achieve, and push you harder than you are likely to push yourself, believing that you have the capability to do more. They see potential in you that you don’t know that you have. They give you constructive feedback and expect you to use it. They are willing to invest time and effort in you. They are confident that their investment in you will pay off.

One size does not fit all, so choose your mentor wisely. Establish your criteria and select those who can enable you to grow and benefit from the association. He and she (and I would advise that you seek the counsel of both; although not contemporaneously) should represent what best exemplifies the business savvy and relationship style that you want most to emulate.

If you choose to work with someone whose methods, values and vision you oppose, you will expend great energy, erode self confidence, and end up disappointed, frustrated, and cynical.

Your mentor will have questions of you. Do your homework and be prepared to answer them:

What do you want to achieve in your career and why?

What barriers block the way?

What are your greatest strengths?

What are the gaps in your experience?

What are you prepared to do about them?

Why have you selected me to mentor you?

Not everyone is a good mentor. Avoid those who talk without listening and prescribe without benefit of diagnosis. They may be well intended but poorly matched to the challenge. Avoid those who would use their mentees for personal gain, turning would-be protégés into glorified go-fers.

Not everyone wants to be a mentor. It takes valuable time away from other pressing, professional demands. It is a commitment to be available and accessible; to do right by you. It is volunteer work at work. Mentoring is noble and enabling, yet requires more than many individuals are willing to give without promise of financial compensation.

It can be a mistake to cajole an individual into this service.

Not everyone is a good mentee.

It takes courage to listen to what you’d rather not hear and wisdom to know that you just better listen. It takes objectivity to apply what you learn and forgiveness to understand why it’s so hard to do.

Can everyone benefit from a mentor?

In theory, yes. In practice, not always. That’s why it is important to carefully evaluate why you want to work with a mentor, the outcome you seek from the mentor relationship, and who is appropriate for the role.

If your goal is to hitch your wagon to any fast moving star, you are a better opportunist than a mentee. If you’re willing to work hard and have the grit to do what it takes, the payoff is well worth the effort.

By the way, if you are the beneficiary of effective mentoring, you can return the favor. Be there with career assistance and encouragement for someone who wants a chance at becoming more than what current circumstances would allow. That’s how the game is played.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts conducted seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.