Are you sending out dozens of resumes and getting no responses? Are you toying with giving them out at basketball games? Have you tried billboards and carpet-bombing?

When is the last time you wrote an original cover letter? Are you still mailing that worn out one-size-fits-all  you used when you graduated college?

Are you sleeping in longer and staying out later? Remember, if an aggressive search doesn’t cut it, try a passive approach. Dream about it.

Are you sleeping in longer and never leaving home? Never meeting people will lead to never getting a job. If that ‘s what you want, you are right on track.

Are you finding reasons to not accept very acceptable offers?

After you’re out of work for awhile, you can get squeamish about taking a job that looks challenging. Take a pass on all of them.

Are you seriously considering positions that lack challenge but provide temporary shelter?  That’s the old “Please Under-Employ Me” story: take what’s so safe you’re bound to be sorry.  Don’t go there unless you absolutely have to.

Are you talking yourself into jobs that you and three tackles couldn’t manage on a good day? That’s the “Of Course I Failed, Who Wouldn’t?” game.  Don’t go there either.

The longer you look, without success, the more likely you’re backing yourself into a cave of your own making. That cave can get mighty comfortable, particularly if you like sitting around in a bathrobe, sipping coffee, and surfing the ‘net.

So what’s a person to do? Well, it begins with mind set. Think failure, and you will. Think success and you’re off to a good start.

The trip from thinking success and becoming successful takes planful action: getting out of your head and out of your cave and into the world where it is riskier. Taking risks results in either winning or losing. Minimize your losses by strategizing a plan that moves you forward.  Maximize your wins by getting advice from people who know and have a track record to prove it.

About your resume: Whether you go to a pro or write it yourself, be sure to test it out on folks who hire and are successful at it.  You’re bound to know them: a trusted colleague, a friend, and a neighbor. Ask: “What am I missing?” and  “How can I improve it?”

About your presentation: Go to a career coach. Test your interviewing and negotiating style, skills and techniques. Role play, and have the courage to let go of what doesn’t work by replacing it with something that does.

About your networking: Learn to network effectively and purposefully. Identify successful people you know personally, and whose opinions you trust. Tell them what you want to pursue and why. Describe ways that you can make a difference. Ask how they have managed their careers. Ask what they’ve done that’s worked, as well as what hasn’t. Learn from their experience. Ask for suggestions in marketing yourself and your work.  Listen to what they say.  Confirm your understanding of what they are telling you. If their ideas take you down a path you don’t want to go; ask them to elaborate. Take your time before disagreeing (which can end an otherwise productive opportunity). You may benefit from a shift in your thinking.

About your interviewing: Know your strengths and what you bring to their table before you walk through the employer’s door. Be able to say what you mean, convincingly. Ask good questions, probe for deeper meaning, and know what to do with what you hear.

If you want the job, ask for it. And work hard to prove that they made the right decision when they hired you.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

“With all this talk about layoffs, I’m so worried I can’t concentrate on my job. What can I do?”

The last thing you want to do is worry yourself out of a job. Change your unrealized fear from something you can’t control to something you can. Put together an employment emergency kit. Fill it with a financial plan, an updated resume, lists of contacts, and a personal inventory of strengths and work accomplishments. Then get back to work. That’s what your employer is paying you to do.

“What’s the difference between a merger and an acquisition? Am I safe in one and in jeopardy with the other?”

In business parlance a merger implies the coming together of equals. An acquisition suggests that the stronger (by whatever definition) has taken over the weaker. The true meaning and the outcome intended are in the minds of the players who cut the deal. Employees who are affected seldom know what that is. When are you safe? When you proactively direct and advance your own career.

“We’ve been laid off. None of us saw it coming and a bunch of us are angry and upset. If we interview now we’re going to blow it. We’ve got to find work, what can we do?”

Take advantage of your shared frustration and release your emotions with each other. The more you get out of your system, with safe people in safe places, the less apt you are to blow up where it’s not and when it isn’t. After you’ve finished venting (that can take a while) contact job seeker support groups in the area, where you can reframe your frustration into positive job search strategies.

“What three things do I need to know before I interview?”

There are more than three, but if I had to choose, they’d be:

Know what you do best and examples of when you’ve done it.

Know what you don’t do well, so that you won’t do it again.

Know what you’re looking for in a job (besides the money).

“What’s the difference between a strength and a skill? Which is more important?”

A strength is innate, a given, you have it without trying. You enhance your strengths by recognizing them (they’re not always as obvious as you might think) and expanding upon them. A skill is acquired. You learn it by study and repeated application. Strengths are immediately transferable, no waiting. Skills transfer, but may not be applicable. You need a combination of both. Proven success combines skills, strengths, and experience.

“How can you network if you don’t get out and meet anyone? I tend to be on the shy side and have never been a joiner. Help!”

You may not be a natural at networking, but you can learn the skills necessary for organizing one: Get together with like minded individuals (they like what you like and they’d go where you’d go, if you went anywhere). You’ve indicated that you don’t like to get out much. If you did, where would your interests take you? For example: If you were a reader, you would hang out in book stores, libraries, museums, and galleries. You would attend book reviews; book signings and book sales. You’d meet the people who attend, talk about mutual interests, and learn what they do, professionally. By describing your current job search you’d ask for suggestions of people you should meet and places you should go.

When you network with people who share your interests they send you looking in the right places.

“I’m over fifty! Who’s going to hire me?”

If you are emotionally and physically healthy, with a positive, energetic outlook, what’s not to like (or hire)? Companies are always in the market for stable, mature, nonjudgmental employees who know how to contribute to the workplace and come ready to work. What you may have given up in physical agility you’ve (hopefully) gained in wisdom and insight. As long as you don’t sign on as a contortionist in the circus, you’re a good bet as a new hire.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

You went for an interview and you weren’t invited back. What went wrong? It’s hard to know for sure, but the following may shed some light on the mystery.

It was your physical appearance: If you were a mess on interview day, one can only wonder how you’d appear once you’re on the job. Clean, pressed, coordinated, that’s the ticket.

You didn’t show any interest or enthusiasm: The interviewer didn’t know if you wanted the job. If you like what you hear, and want to know more, ask questions. If you want the job, say so. If it’s not your style to express interest or enthusiasm, crank it up anyway.

You didn’t show much tact: It’s what you said and how you said it. Choose your words wisely while telling the truth. Shock tactics don’t go over well in interviews.  No matter what the job is, you have to work with people, and treating others with consideration is fundamental to success.

You weren’t very confident: Ouch. When you second guessed yourself and doubted your abilities, the employer had no choice but to doubt them too. If you want the interview to go well, you have to prepare. That means researching the company and taking inventory of your strengths. Practice by role playing and take the feedback you get seriously. Winging it is for the birds.

You were too opinionated: If you jumped to conclusions without having the facts, and bluffed when you didn’t know, you’re not a good bet in anyone’s company. It’s a trust thing.

You didn’t ask questions about the job: You’re not the only one who messed up on this one. The interviewer described everything about the job that you wanted to know. When it was your turn to ask a question, you were sitting on empty. So, what’s the problem? You came across as passive, shallow, or disinterested. That wasn’t your intention. Go into an interview with questions that matter to you, whether they’re about the training program, business strategy, or market share. No questions? No second chance.

They couldn’t read your application: Administratively, your paperwork is as important as the interview itself. Take your time. Print legibly. Fill in every blank. You’ll need names and contact information for your references so take that information with you.

You were too intense: You knocked the interviewer over. You weren’t clumsy. You came on too strong; you were selling too hard. You weren’t answering questions. You weren’t asking questions. Relax, smile, and turn this into a conversation instead of a debate.

You didn’t have a sense of humor. They weren’t expecting Billy Crystal, but they did expect you to lighten up just a bit. Interviewers want to know if you’re a good fit for their team, and teamwork requires flexibility and resiliency. You didn’t seem to have it.             

You were bad mouthing your former employers: That probably happened when the interviewer asked why you’re no longer working for the XYZ Company. Instead of blaming, which is never a good strategy, accept responsibility for the choices you’ve made.

You looked lazy: What gave you away? Could it be that you got there late and dead-fished your handshake? Was it when you fell into the chair, slumped when you landed, and mumbled your one word answers?

It’s understandable to lose out on a job because it’s a bad fit. It’s a waste to lose out because you got in your own way. Check your interview readiness by doing an honest self-assessment. If you don’t have 360 degree vision and need corrective lenses, call a career professional.

Achieving career success requires determination, focus, drive, courage and commitment. It takes more than a degree. It takes an education.

Be open to information that flies in the face of your view of the world. Be willing to let go of your perspective long enough to understand the rationale of others. Explore what you don’t think is important for no reason greater than others disagree with you. Education is the stretch between what you think you know and what you have yet to learn.

If you look, you can find an education in school rooms, library shelves, search engines, and between the ears of people who have learned from experience. What you choose to do with what you find means getting involved. Learning isn’t a spectator sport. You ask the questions, do the research, write the papers, defend the premise, accept the criticism, and find value in all of it.

Just showing up at the schoolhouse door won’t cut it. If you’re lucky enough to have a quick mind (a gift you didn’t earn) appreciate your good fortune by doing more with it than less. If you’re slow but steady and studying is hard work, you’ll have to work harder. Both investments pay off in the long run.

If you’re a liberal arts major and want to hedge your bets, take business courses. If you’re into facts and figures, take courses in the humanities. Companies may hire people who get along with machines but they retain the ones who get along with people.

It’s not the degree that gives you a leg up; it’s having to explain why you don’t have one, why you never went for one, or why you left before you got one that causes trouble. A degree won’t open doors for you; it gives you permission to knock.

Jittery jobholders are calling to ask if they should get an MBA while they wait out this economic downturn. Twenty years ago we had a period like this and many employees who had money and test scores chose to sit out the slump by attending graduate schools in business, law, and medicine. They enhanced the coffers of education and educators, but were they closer to career success? In many cases, they created bottlenecks in the fields they wanted to enter. The openings they squeezed into didn’t measure up to the significant time and financial outlay it took to get them. They went from underemployed to overeducated and underemployed.

That takes us back to the question. If you’re out of work, should you sit out the slump as a full time graduate student? If you feel under-utilized and under-challenged, the time might be right to enroll in an evening or weekend MBA program and keep your day job. That way you’ll have the energy to study, you’ll stay in the workforce (it’s still easier to get a job when you have one) and your networks remain intact.

Bottom line, will an MBA jumpstart your career prospects? That depends on your skills, strengths, and career aspirations. There is, however, always good reason to further your education. What skill sets need improving, what strengths need a stretch? Match your needs to what our many local colleges, universities, and community colleges have to offer.

Many people have enjoyed successful careers without receiving a formal education. They did it by working hard and working smart. They came early, stayed late, and when they cut corners, they knew how to take what they saved and apply it where it counted most. They proved themselves every day, doing what it takes to get the job done.

Knowing what they’ve experienced, how would they advise their children? The sample I’ve spoken to may not be statistically significant but their opinions are:

“Learn when you’re young, when it’s easier, when the demands on your life are fewer, when the pressures aren’t so great that you lose sight of what’s really important in life. Get an education.”

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com

I bet you know him. He comes to work early and stays late.  He’s known as a company man. He’s dedicated, loyal, with a work ethic that challenges the most diligent. His only fear is failing health even though he’s never had a sick day. (He’s never had a day that he stayed out sick. He’s had several sick days.)

His children have grown up without him. He tries not to think about that. They speak of him with respect but without warmth. They don’t really know him. They ask their mother if she does.

“No,” she says, “not really. But he’s always been a provider, and he’s respectful.” She says it could have been worse. She’s known of worse. She’ll take what she gets. What good would it do not to?

He’s starting to think about retiring. Not that he wants to, but he’s starting to lose his edge. He’s slower than he was, more forgetful, less enthusiastic. It takes energy to be enthusiastic. He’d rather save his energy for the nights that he works late, even if he no longer has to, or wants to.

Retirement. The word makes him tired. There’s nothing that he wants to do in retirement but maybe sleep. But he gets to sleep on weekends and still wakes up early. What does that leave? A lot of nothing. And nobody to do it with. His kids are grown and haven’t talked to him about anything important in years. Maybe never. They’re nice kids. Good kids. Kids with their own kids. But they all stay away.

His wife’s been a good sport. A good mother. She’s never demanded much. She’s stayed loyal. But they don’t have anything to talk about. What does he care about her garden or her garden club or her garden club friends? He’s never met her friends. At least he doesn’t remember meeting them. Maybe he did once, at one of the kid’s weddings. He doesn’t remember.

Volunteer. Someone at work told him that he would make a good volunteer. He doesn’t want to be some old coot who’s taking care of other old coots. That’s for somebody else.

What is he going to do when no one at work wants him anymore? He’ll have to be. And he doesn’t know how to just “be”.

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If this all sounds like I’ve been watching you, I have. And I can tell you, you’re not alone, but there’s not much comfort in that, is there? The good news is, you still have time to figure this one out. Use your time wisely.

Where should you start?

Your family. Reconnect now. You want them to welcome you home. You want to have a place with them,  and a part to play. You want to be as vital to them as they are to you. You’ll want to be a wise listener; an empowering husband and father. You’ll want to learn about their life’s lessons, their struggles, and their successes.

Take your time and stay the course. It won’t happen overnight. You worked your way out of their lives, you’ll have to earn your way back, one day at a time.

Your community. Take your time and learn where you can contribute most. When you combine who you are, with what you do, and where that combination is needed most, you will have a match that gives more to each than either will gain alone.

Your mind and your soul. When is the last time you read a book for no reason other than it told a great story? If it’s been a long time (or you’ve never been a reader) you’re in for quite a surprise. There’s a world of information waiting for you.  Turn off the computer and experience learning where other people go to learn. Go to the library, go back to school,  go to a play, go to concert, go to a parade.

Take care of  your heart, your head and your feet. If you’ve avoided check-ups rather than have doctors tell you to slow down, check-in. Tell them you’re ready to listen. And if they say it’s OK, lace up your walking shoes and head outside. Go to the park because it’s there. Walk alongside babies in strollers, and dogs on leashes. Wave at children on swings and families on cookouts.

There’s an extraordinary world out there just waiting for your visit. But don’t wait until you retire.

You have time to figure it out, if you’ll start right now.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts conducted seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

First things first
Income: “Can I do whatever I want, or do I need to earn an income?”
What matters to you?: “What motivates me, makes me what to get up in the morning?” Are you seeing pleasure or meaning? Are you looking for mostly personal enjoyment, such as travel, woodworking or playing tennis, or purpose, such as helping others, in this next stage?
Are you ready? Making a change means letting go of something familiar. It also means taking everything you have learned from what you’ve done so far to the next level.

Build on your history
Outline your own personal history. Keep it simple: use bullet points. List significant events, how they influenced you, what about them was important to you. For example,

• As the 9th child born into a large family headed by a physician famous in our small town for making house calls, many forces preceded me on my paths into the world.
• My father, a physician, took us all to our music lessons, sports events and, yes, doctor’s appointments.
• I spent half my 9th grade year in bed with mono. Read all of Dickens.

Reflect on your childhood.
What did you love to do? What were you good at? What experiences were meaningful? What kinds of people did you like? What did you dream about doing?

List your accomplishments
Working backwards from the present to your school days, describe at least three proud moments in each job and stage of your life. Then in each accomplishment identify what motivated you and what talent/s you used to achieve success. Interview your family and friends to help you remember. Besides, others may recognize achievements that you overlook because they seemed effortless to you.

Look for themes: skills, preferences, roles, interests, causes, cultures or environments. What implications do they have for your next steps?

Retirement offers freedom to recapture long-abandoned enthusiasms. Worry not about being selfish, appearing foolish or being incompetent. Learning new skills or about new subjects stretches the mind and is the secret to staying young, healthy, interested and interesting.

Tell a story–create your own future.
Creating your own future clarifies it, energizes it and helps to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’ll notice opportunities you might have missed otherwise and you’re more likely to act on them.

What is your ideal future? Write several stories, long or short, that would take you there. Be as open to the possibilities as you can. As with brainstorming, anything goes. Shoot for the moon. These are just stories, but they’re your stories and they move you closer to your dreams.

Plan Ahead
Can’t stop working? Consider going back to school part-time or getting additional training, perhaps subsidized by your employer. Or think about pursuing your full time interest in a part-time job. Sometimes the unexpected happens at work; now you have some choices, you have already opened some other doors.

Next steps
Talk to people who are doing what you want to do. Volunteer where your interests are being pursued. Look for ways that your experience can contribute to outcomes you have passion about.

Whether it’s rediscovering what motivates you or reinventing yourself for retirement, write your own story and enjoy the success that follows.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Pamela Corbett is an executive coach, career and outplacement counselor, organizational consultant and psychotherapist with her own practice, Spectrum Psychological Services based in Winston-Salem, NC. Licensed in North Carolina and trained in clinical psychology (Penn State and Indiana University of Pennsylvania), Pam is a certified Master Practitioner of NLP and is certified in the entire suite of Career, Leadership, and Organizational Architect Tools. Pamela has been providing executive assessment, development planning, coaching, and training through her own business and as adjunct faculty with the Center for Creative Leadership since 1986. Pam’s earlier work experience includes a veterinary hospital start-up, television production, insurance claims negotiation, inpatient and outpatient psychotherapy, and teaching at Wake Forest University. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

I could take you back before 2008 into the history of this 85 year old family held company, with 400 employees, that had survived three generations.  But it isn’t necessary.  Let’s start where the drama begins; the prior plot line is unimportant.

Lesson One – You Are Not In Control

It is sufficient to say that we were on the edge of our seats by November 2008.  Through everyone’s efforts, the business had held steady through spring.  Soft, but holding.  By August, business began to dry up.  The stock market fell through the floor in September and then no one was buying luxury.  Throughout the fall, our most critical season, we did what we could: scheduled promotions, created discounts, ramped up phone calls, improved selling skills and worked together to keep our spirits up.

By November it was clear that nothing would work.  In 2001, when the recession followed 9/11, we didn’t have time before the holiday season to be proactive.  In 2008 we did – and it didn’t matter.  Eight years ago we would have survived.  This year we wouldn’t.  Our parent company had gone into major debt for another chain of stores in 2007.  As the holiday season began in 2008 it was clear that the debt from that purchase would bankrupt the company.  Debt was the major story of 2008.  Our company was a tiny lifeboat, capable of holding most of our passengers.  However, attached to the Titanic, we were going down.  Although we worked hard to shore up the business and cut expenses, nothing we were capable of would help us avoid the inevitable.  We learned too many lessons about debt and began to understand that we would need to prepare for the end.

Lesson Two – You Are The Only One In Control

As our parent company began the process of engaging lawyers and restructuring experts, they became largely absent from our day to day activities.  Not that they didn’t provide us with an enormous number of information gathering tasks.  They were too absorbed in their world to provide any real leadership.

As leaders in our smaller world, we couldn’t wait for them to make decisions or fashion communications.  It was clear that nothing would happen in a linear fashion with planning.  Each of us would have to begin to look out for ourselves and work to let our staff know that they would likely need a lifeline also.  Sometimes you can’t wait for a signal to help those around you.

So we began to work for ourselves and help our staff update resumes, refinance our houses and network externally.  As leaders, we worked to continue to move the business forward in the event that there was a miracle and we were bought out or some small piece of the business would emerge from bankruptcy.  With our remaining energy we tried to help people plan for their own future – in the likelihood that we wouldn’t (have a miracle or a company).  While we had to keep our eye on the business, we also had to help individuals keep an eye on themselves.  We also learned that business and personal strategy are not just for growth, sometimes it’s more important to strategize for a crash landing.  In fact, clearing the undergrowth and scoping out a safe landing field may be the most important thing you ever do.

Lesson Three – Communicate (no news is rarely good news in a crisis)

The process was overwhelming at times.  As in any crisis, there were numerous mixed signals.  “We are going forward,” “We are not going forward,” “There is a buyer.”  “Prepare for a crash landing” – no one actually made this last statement – we had learned to read between the lines.  In the midst of all of these messages, communication among our small team was key.  Everyone had to be checked in with almost daily.  Our small management team kept in touch to find out the rumor of the day and decide how and if to respond to it.  In this age of the Internet, there was the added pressure of the media and semi-public information, sowe had to regularly decide what to communicate and when to interpret.  We generally came down on the side of both communicating what we knew (or had heard) and helping others make some meaning of the public information.  “Important, keep your antenna up, it really doesn’t matter, focus on _____ instead.”  We learned to communicate regularly, align frequently, and interpret (and re-interpret) often.  We all developed our own allies in the parent company to help us understand how to interpret events.  Formal chains of command rarely mattered.

Lesson Four – There Is Still Pride In Doing A Good Job

Yes, amazingly, mundane work still needed to be accomplished.  There was nothing strategic about any of it.  Requests from our parent company and the multitude of ‘important people’ (lawyers, restructuring specialists, banks, etc.) who would actually make money off this mess, were daily occurrences.

Sometimes the tasks took on the feeling of preparing for a major military campaign, depending on their complexity.  And then, of course, there was the constant task of preparing ‘packets’ for people who were leaving on a weekly basis.  Or re-preparing the packet for the people whose ‘date’ had been postponed (7 dates over the course of 14 months was our record).  Everyone was overburdened – no one complained – no one ‘fudged’ the data.  We continued to be proud of our ability to complete work in a timely, organized and accurate fashion.

Lesson Five – Balance And Relationships (and some fun) Matter – A Lot

By April 2009 – just three months after our poor Christmas season – our parent company announced that our local offices would be closed for good and  the majority of our staff laid off in June (thank goodness for federal WARN notices, which gave many people a two month reprieve).

As the chaos at the executive level continued, it became apparent that the only place for our focus was on the employees involved.  The banks, corporations, restructuring specialists, lawyers – it was like watching a real life version of Clash of the Titans.  Although the company was still cutting our paychecks and demanding our loyalty, we began to see that our primary moral obligation was to assist individual employees.  As a management team, we needed to set an example with positive attitudes by continuing to take pride in our work and paying attention to the emotional damage felt by our people.

Who was suffering the most today?  Whose spouse had lost a job and was in panic mode today?  Who had a job interview tomorrow and needed help preparing?  Who hadn’t done their resume yet and needed to be gently pushed to that end?  Who had a handle on the stress and who didn’t?  Who needed a walk around the block or a tissue?  We kept tabs through popcorn, chocolate and frequent meals together.  We celebrated our years of service, posted pictures, bid adieu with flowers and food.  Our spirits mostly stayed high and we tried to spend little time on where we didn’t have control.  These actions helped us maintain our balance despite our exhaustion.

Several WARN dates and 390 employees later, ten of us finally closed the office on March 26, 2010, almost a year after the first layoffs.  For the management team, it was 16 months after we began to understand the inevitability of this result.  Most of us were too exhausted and off balance even to search for a job immediately.  Two months later, some of us have begun to land jobs or start new businesses.  Most of us are still out of work – for some it’s almost a year now.

Most of us have discovered social media and networking in a big way.  We have kept in touch through Facebook, Linkedin, frequent calls and walks around the block.  We have celebrated successes and worried about failures.  Naturally, people have begun to splinter.  We all have a feeling of success when one of us succeeds and a continuing feeling that those of us who do find jobs will reach out to others, where possible.

And The Final Lesson

As with any experience, the lesson is in individual resilience, individual decision making and the ability of the team to strengthen and support each other in a positive way.  It is those relationships that we build that provide us with the lessons we need to learn for the next time.

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Yes! You may use this article by HR Consultant & Executive Coach, Ronnie Grabon, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Ronnie Grabon, SPHR, received her BA and MBA from Rutgers University. she is an Executive Coach and HR Consultant for companies and individuals undergoing transition.  After 30 years in corporate work, she recently completed her own transition by serving as VP of HR for a company undergoing bankruptcy and liquidation.  Over the last ten years. Ronnie has coached more than 500 people at the Center for Creative Leadership, as well as consulting with individuals, businesses and non-profits.  Ronnie can be reached at rgrabon@triad.rr.com or by phone at 336-706-1621.  Ronnie’s coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

After 30+ years in the corporate world, I have left to start my own consulting business.  Leaving was something that I had considered for many years.  And for the last ten years, I had worked 80% time in the corporate world so that I could devote 20% of my time to consulting.  But I hesitated.  Corporate life felt safe.  Then came 2008, quickly followed by 2009 and a corporate bankruptcy.  Suddenly, independence felt like the only option.

So what have I learned that I can pass on to you, my readers?  First and foremost, career management is as much about life management as anything else.  What are you doing besides your job that may someday become your main focus?  Do you use your free time to watch TV, play golf, lounge by the pool?  Or are you using your free time to prepare for the next stage of your life?

Second, take advantage of the crisis – as Tom Friedman and others have said – never let a good crisis go to waste.  If you have been aiming in a direction, use the crisis to propel you further along your path.  The clue here is aiming – if you have just been wandering, the crisis is likely to catapult you in the wrong direction.  Where are you aiming right now?

Lastly, safety is not always safe.  What appears to be stable is not always so.  Working independently does mean my earning potential is up to me, it also means that not all my eggs are in one basket.  So it is less likely that everything can disappear at once.  A little like diversifying in the stock market.  Do you have a diversification plan?

Tomorrow, I head out on vacation for two weeks – one week at the beach and a one week road trip.  A single mom in a fun, small car, with a 16 year old son and 23 year old daughter – this will be interesting.

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Yes! You may use this article by HR Consultant & Executive Coach, Ronnie Grabon, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Ronnie Grabon, SPHR, received her BA and MBA from Rutgers University. She is an Executive Coach and HR Consultant for companies and individuals undergoing transition.  After 30 years in corporate work, she recently completed her own transition by serving as VP of HR for a company undergoing bankruptcy and liquidation.  Over the last ten years. Ronnie has coached more than 500 people at the Center for Creative Leadership, as well as consulting with individuals, businesses and non-profits.  Ronnie can be reached at rgrabon@triad.rr.com or by phone at 336-706-1621.  Ronnie’s coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.

Having Fun

by Michele Woodward

Yes,that’s what I said: fun.

Guest Author: Michele Woodward

When Your Job is a Soul-sucking Hellhole

In last week’s post, Love Your Work? (What Are You, Crazy?) we looked at how you can single-handedly turn around a difficult work situation. Yes, I said, “single-handedly.” And I meant it – when you first look to yourself and change (for the good) what you can – then, you can absolutely, positively, single-handedly turn around a difficult situation. I’ve seen it too many times to doubt that it’s a successful strategy.

And if you are doing the right thing, you are firmly in your integrity, and your work stays a soul-sucking hellhole, then – it’s time to quit.

I wrote about When To Quit a couple of years ago. Come to think of it, I really liked that post. In it, I suggested:

“It’s time to quit when the person you are becoming is someone you don’t like. When you’re in a job, and as a condition of employment you are expected to fudge facts, shift numbers and lie to customers, you become a person who fudges, shifts and lies. Is that who you want to be?”

And,

“It’s time to quit when you find that you love having the problem more than the problem loves you. If you find yourself talking about the problem all the time, stewing and fretting, worrying about it, analyzing it, turning the problem over and over in your head – is that who you want to be? Is that how you want to use your energy?”

Now, let’s just be honest right here. Some of us slip into a familiar and comfy place where we absolutely love using our energy stewing and fretting, worrying, analyzing. Why? Darlings, it’s an artful dodge. What are we dodging? Why, fear, of course. We’re dodging and dancing around the thing so many of us fear the most – fear of change.

We change-fearers expend all our energy mulling things over – which leaves us absolutely zero energy to do the thing we need to do most: change something. So, to snap out of the contemplative coma and get going, ask yourself these questions:

1. In the past, when I’ve made a change like the one I’m contemplating now – what’s been the outcome? Look back, write it down. What’s your change experience been like? How does that inform your actions right now? If you’ve been less than adept at change, what did you lack at the time? Can you shore that up this time?
2. What scares me most about making a change right now? I’m not kidding: Make a list. Then look at each item that scares you and say, “If that happens, then what?” Follow the trail right down to the thing that scares you most. Such as, “I will become the bag lady who lives in a shopping cart at Westmoreland Circle.” Then decide: is that really possible? This approach puts many fears right where they belong – out of your way.
3. If I make this scary change, how will I grow? (remember Finally Un-Stuck, where we talked about the power of always choosing growth?)
4. By staying where I am – do I like myself? Do I even want to like myself?

That last one’s a zinger, huh? But coming to terms with whether you’ll ever allow yourself to trulylike yourself – now there’s a thought worth pursuing.

So let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you have quieted your fears, you want to feel better and you want to be better. What do you do next?

You know me – I’ll tell you to focus on your strengths, your passions, your priorities and your values. I’ll tell you to network, network, network. I’ll tell you to read Finding A Job 2.0 about the new rules of finding a job.

I’ll tell you to take a deep breath and get yourself un-stuck. Because there’s so much more to life than that soul-sucking hellhole where you work.

So much more.

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Michele Woodward (www.lifeframeworks.com) is a Master Certified Coach, author, speaker and teacher, who helps people get clear about who they are and what they want to do – and develop a workable action plan to get where they want to go. She is the author of Lose Weight, Find Love, De-Clutter & Save Money: Essays on Happier Living, available at Amazon.com and is the founder of Career Invention Coach Training (www.careerinvention.com) – focused on training coaches to understand the new rules of work –  and Kick Ass Mentoring (www.kickassmentoring.com) – a marketing training program for coaches. She’s thrived in a number of high-level, high-pressure positions – at The White House, in corporate America – and has served as an advisor to entrepreneurs.  Michele is a sought-after speaker, leads a number of workshops and classes, teaches in Martha Beck’s well regarded coach training program, and writes a popular blog.